I want this to be the world’s first “Live Blog of a Meat Loaf Concert the Writer TiVoed Two Weeks Ago and Is Just Now Getting Around to Watching, But Really He Can’t See Himself Watching For More Than Twenty Minutes Or So”
- He leads off with “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” Bold choice.
- So he’s wearing the classic frilly tuxedo, but it just looks wrong. Mr. Aday has not aged well. It’s not that he’s obese - in fact he’s probably a little lighter than he was in the 70’s. But Meat Loaf’s aging is unprecedented in that advanced age has made him uglier at a rate far, far beyond that expected of the normal aging process. And it only makes it more pronounced that his co-performer is a super-hot chick in a cheerleader outfit that has to be at least 35 years his junior.
- Gotta say, I’m a little disappointed at the lack of intensity in his delivery of the “So now I’m praying for the end of time” verse. I think my buddy did it better in a karaoke performance.
- But he completely redeems himself at the end, when he and his lady friend end the song with some barbed insults, and after a particularly stinging one from the little lady, Loaf asks the band to stop, stares at her, sticks a ridiculously large middle finger in her face, and bellows “F—- YOU!!!” Now that’s intensity I’m looking for.
- Video interlude while Meat Loaf changes out of his frilly tuxedo, and it’s the 1970’s Doors-esque footage of Jim Steinman doing the “Hot Summer Night” dialogue with a creepy femal silouhette who really wants to offer her throat to the wolf with the red roses. I’ve probably listened to Bat Out of Hell 200 times since discovering it sometime in the mid-90’s, and I will never stop debating whether I’m more confused or more creeped out by this little exchange.
- Meat Loaf is back for “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth”, and he’s wearing a San Diego Chargers football jersey. The concert is in England, so this wardrobe choice is confusing to say the least. Not only is he not appealing to the hometown fans, but the vast majority of fans likely have no idea where this jersey means. And unfortunately, the jersey turns out to be a replica of quarterback Phil Rivers’, thus dashing my hope that Meat was wearing a football jersey with a gigantic “LOAF” written across the back. That would have been awesome.
- Meat follows with some song I’ve never heard before. I am underwhelmed.
- The lame song is followed by an instantaneous costume change into a long velvety 1780’s style overcoat over a bright blue sequined vest, as Meat belts out a version of “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” that brings tears to my eyes. I instantly feel incredibly guilty for any criticisms I may have made of a man capable of bringing so much joy to life. I’d like to call special attention to Meat, soaking in sweat with his hair matted and filthy, following up his female partner (now dressed in a rather classy black evening gown) ’s “Would you hose me down with holy water if I get too hot?” line by booming “HOT!!!!” along with the backup vocalists.
- Screw “tears to my eyes.” I’m sobbing now.
- Life has meaning.
2 years ago • Notes